


The Apple

by purgatorynightmares



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Human, Community: deancasbigbang, M/M, astrophysicist!dean, athropologist!Cas
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-24
Updated: 2016-09-28
Packaged: 2018-02-26 19:57:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 17,046
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2664452
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/purgatorynightmares/pseuds/purgatorynightmares
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean and Castiel have been friends their entire lives. When Heaven- or perhaps Hell- intervenes in their world, Dean and Cas must figure out how to deal with Castiel's newfound fate and knowledge of the universe.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> This is my DCBB story this year. My art was done by the lovely selphixx (tumblr)/ selphix (livejournal). I may edit the ending a tad bit as I cross-post it here. This chapter is just the prologue, so it is far shorter than then other chapters. Thank you for reading, and I hope you enjoy the story!

The first thing you should know is that this isn’t really my story. Not even close. I’m just telling it because there’s no one else left. It’s kind of bullshit, being asked to tell someone’s story. Especially someone else’s- some parts I can hardly remember, other things I didn’t know much about in the first place. There’s really no great way to jump in, so I guess I’ll just start in the beginning.  My name is Dean Winchester, and this is the story of Castiel Novak.

I guess the _very_ beginning you already know:  In the beginning, God created the heavens and the earth- blah blah blah. You don’t have to believe that crap if you don’t want to- God knows I don’t always believe it, but Cas did. It’s pretty important for this story, so just roll with it. Anyway, after some big dude in the sky created the earth, he made stuff to go on it. I guess without trees or animals or people or anything this is mostly just a big spinning rock.

So the big guy made trees and animals and people.  The people that were made first are important for this story too- if you don’t believe it, just pretend for now or something. But the two first humans were apparently named Adam and Eve. If you’ve heard all of the “In the beginning…” crap, you’ve probably heard this part, too. But Adam and Eve could do just about anything they wanted to- with only two humans on the planet they couldn’t get into too much trouble, right? Apparently not. According to the story they had one rule and one rule only: there was one special tree that they couldn’t eat fruit from. A special tree, usually called the Tree of Knowledge, with special fruit that people usually say was some sort of wacked out apple. The big guy was clear with his instructions. He said, “You can eat the fruit of any tree that is in the garden. But you must not eat the fruit of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. If you do, you can be sure that you will die.” Pretty easy, right? Wrong again.

So the first dude and the first chick were happy and they named animals and did whatever else you could do without any other people or anything but a huge garden. Then, one day, a snake came. This snake tricked the girl, Eve, into eating fruit from that one tree that she couldn’t eat off of. And then she got her husband, Adam, to do the same. They had one job. But this fruit made them “wise” and they realized they were naked. When the big guy came to visit them in the garden they were embarrassed by their nudity, so they hid. And the big guy realized they had eaten from the Tree of Knowledge and Adam blamed Eve- probably jumpstarting thousands and thousands of years of misogyny- and banished them both from the garden. But thousands of years (of misogyny) and billions of people later, that special fruit and that special tree are both just part of some religious story. Right? Wrong again. Because in the year 2005 A.D. my best friend ate another “apple” from that “Tree of Knowledge” and spiked the strangest series of events that I’ve ever even heard of leading us all the way up to the present.

Bear with me here because this story is pretty long, but you asked for it. I might get sidetracked and talk about crap that makes no sense to you sometimes, but mostly it’s the most important story I know. I guess that was mostly just background information, an introductory prologue if you’re into being a pretentious douche. I guess this is where the story really begins.


	2. Some Weird Angel Kid

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Dean Winchester makes a new friend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took 3.7 billion years to post...

Cas was a weird kid- he was a weird adult too, but a _really_ weird kid. He never wore clothes that even came close to matching, he loved to wear neon yellow shorts with his purple and green striped turtleneck. He taught himself to read, with the help of his older sister, before kindergarten even began and he would never put whatever book he was reading at any point in time down. He was exploring religion in philosophy back in grade school- by fourth grade he decided he was Buddhist _and_ Christian. Cas had a weird thing about being interested in people, but like science projects, which made him not fit in too well at school. He also knew every constellation you could ever possibly think of by heart. Cas lived with his sister Anna, who is two years older than us both and would never let either of us forget it, and his brother Gabe, who’s twelve years older than us. His parents were religious freaks and they skipped town to go convert people or whatever two days after Gabe turned eighteen. They weren’t exactly missed, but it still sort of sucked. Gabe went into Film and Media Studies at University of Kansas, which was close enough for him to commute every day to school and still take care of his siblings. And ended up becoming a producer for tons of hit webseries, and- we later found out- porn. The house was already paid off and they all took care of each other with Gabriel making enough to keep the lights and everything on even when he was still in college, so everything worked out alright for them.

When I met Cas in second grade, I was kind of the opposite. I carefully laid out my outfits before sleep, which my dad always thought was dumb. I styled my hair with gel and tried to be just like my dad, listening to classic rock and learning about cars and how to be a man, and I fit in pretty well. From the outside I was pretty damn normal. I made friends easily, but the trouble was I had to leave those friends pretty quickly. My mom had died in a fire when I was four, and it tore Dad up pretty bad. It was just me and my dad and my little brother Sammy against the world. Dad couldn’t hold down a job for more than a month or two at a time and spent more time drunk than he did sober. As a result, I moved towns every two months or so. The beginning of my second grade year we ended back in Lawrence, Kansas- where we had first started. By second grade I was a kid who knew how to raise another kid and hide bruises and lie to teachers about where my dad was. I was mostly okay with giving my kid brother the Lucky Charms, but I was just about done with taking punches and always moving and doing crap no kid should ever have to do. On the day that Cas and I met, I finally decided to tell my dad enough was enough.

Even though August in Kansas was usually hot as hell, I went to school that Thursday morning with long sleeves on to cover up the bruises I would have gotten the night before because I looked too much like my mom. Is it weird that I remember all these years later that it was a Thursday? Probably, but I still do. Hillcrest Elementary School sat on top of a hill, which is how it got its name. At the bottom of the hill there was a wooded area, not huge but big enough to hide in and totally off limits to all students. Of course, I by that Thursday I had already hid in those woods six times in the three weeks I would have been at Hillcrest.

On that Thursday, I left the building after lunch to go to recess like all the other kids, but once I got outside I snuck past the swing set, through the slide, and to the gate where I picked the lock to leave the mulch and sneak through the trees to the real forest area. I would have gone my normal route and was almost to my favorite tree when I fell. Into a hole. A damn big hole. I would have twisted my ankle and I couldn’t stand up, but I also couldn’t call for help because if I did they’d call home and my dad would pick up if he was even remotely sober and then I would have get more bruises.

So instead I laid there, I had no idea how long I laid there, but at the time it felt like it had been hours and maybe school was out and they’d already called my dad when I didn’t show up after lunch. Looking back I have no idea why I didn’t try to stand up again if I thought I my dad was gonna tear me a new one after what I thought was so much time. But apparently it was ten minutes. I think I was about to doze off when I was suddenly met by a pair of bright blue eyes. My eyes shot completely open, the blue eyes didn’t even react.

“I heard you fall and so I came looking for you,” I heard a voice say right above me, a voice connected to those blue eyes. It was a kid’s voice, so I was safe. Unless the kid was a tattletale. But I could tattle on the kid too for _him_ being out in the woods instead of on the playground where _he_ was supposed to be.

The kid reached out a hand, lifting me out of the hole. He was surprisingly strong.

“I am Castiel.” The boy stated once he helped me out of the hole.

“Too long,” I replied. “I will call you Cas. I am Dean. Dean Winchester. Hey, how’d you get such a weird name anyway?”

“It is the name of an angel, the angel of Thursday. My siblings and I were all named for angels. Gabriel, Anael, and Castiel.”

I mostly just thought the kid was whacked. “So what brings you to these woods? Playing hooky?”

Cas looked pretty guilty. “I sneak out often at recess to sit among the trees. I find it to be peaceful.”

Definitely hit his head hugging a tree or something.

“So, are you a hippie or something? How’d you get to be so strong anyway?”

Cas rolled his eyes. “I am not a-“ he paused to make airquotes, “’hippie.’ I am, however, a Buddhist. My brother is a black belt in karate, and he has taught me plenty of what he knows. It involves a lot of strength of both body and mind.”

That was actually kinda cool. But I would never admit it. In the future those karate skills kept me out of a lot of detentions I could’ve gotten for protecting my friend who got picked on for being a little strange- because he was able to get out of just about any fight with a simply block or two. My second grade mind back tracked for a minute before I spoke again. “You said that you’re to the Angel of Thursday? That’s funny, today is Thursday!”

“I do not understand how that is funny, Dean.”

“Because you saved me on your day.”

He gave me a confused look, shook his head, and began walking back towards the hill.

 “We should be leaving, Dean. We wouldn’t want to get caught ‘playing hooky’ would we?”

He turned around and flashed a smirk. The guy had a hell of a smirk for a seven-year-old.

I had a friend at school now. Not just a girl who talked to me because she thought I was cute. Not dumb peewee football players pretending to be big and tough and me pretending with them when all any of us wanted was to be cool. No, a real friend. Some weird kid who’d helped me out of a trap, and inadvertently out of my head. And with that hand up, I had a real reason to stay for the first time in my life. That night I went home and swallowed my fear. I gave my dad a choice, stop hitting me or I would call our uncle Bobby and tell him what was going on and John would never see me or Sam again.

John just scoffed and fell back to sleep. But after that day he never laid a hand on me again. We never had to move again. It would have seemed better, but John left for extended periods of time with no notice and came back when we weren’t expecting him. Sometimes he left a baggy full of money, mostly he didn’t. I never quite knew how to feel about it all, but with Dad gone it was easier to just forget about it all.

Becoming friends with Cas was mostly just really easy. He didn’t ask unwanted questions, but I always knew I could tell him anything. He helped me with homework when no one else would. But most of all he got along well with Sammy. My brother was three years old when Cas and I first met, but I already knew he was going to be smart. Cas did too. It turned out that Cas only lived two blocks away from my house, and we both walked home from school. Gabe let Cas come over to my house for a little while, but when my dad came home suddenly one day and gotten angry that I would have had a friend over without permission, Gabe decided it would be better if I went to their house. Sam was always invited to join me.

Aside from being an innovative producer and a black belt, Gabriel Novak turned out to be a damn good cook. Some days while Cas worked on homework and Anna played with Sam, Gabe taught me how to cook. He would have figured out pretty fast that it was mostly just me and Sam, with the occasional check-in from Mom’s old friend Missouri Moseley or a rare call from Uncle Bobby. Gabe never said anything about it to me or the cops, but he did teach me everything I know today about cooking and what was cheapest and fastest and healthiest. To this day I use his apple pie recipe.

My days shifted into school with Cas and the Novak’s with Cas. We fought sometimes, but not too bad. Like I said, Cas never asked questions I didn’t want to answer, which made it easier. Sometimes I knew that he wanted to ask questions. Usually I would have give in and tell him.

One day pretty early on, I looked on the calendar and saw that it was November second- Mom’s death date. That year was pretty hard for me because it was the first time I would have been back in Lawrence, living just a ten minute drive from that old burned down house. I didn’t talk much at school that day, Cas noticed but still never asked questions.

Sam stayed with Missouri that day, like most days, and after Cas and I picked him up and got to his house I just went into the bathroom and cried. I never cried back then, Dad had said it was “unmanly.” But I did that day. After I came out of the bathroom Cas gave me one look and I started crying again. I tried to look away but he held my eyes.

He just kept looking at me and I couldn’t break away. He finally said, “It’s okay to cry. Did you realize that, Dean?”

About this time I started talking. And I didn’t stop for probably an hour. I told him everything- some things he would have known, others he couldn’t have even guessed. Then I stopped. I didn’t talk for what felt like it might have been another whole hour, just standing there in the middle of Castiel’s room never breaking eye contact.

When I finally talked again all I said was, “I want to leave.”

“Where do you want to go?”

I shrugged. “Far away?”

“How far?”

“Far.”

“To the moon?”

“I don’t know how to get to the moon, Cas.”

“We can figure it out together.”

After that I didn’t cry any more.

Especially after that first November it was so simple to be friends with Cas. I would have never met someone so easy to be around before then, and I never have since. I was still well liked by most of the kids at Hillcrest, and Cas was liked by extension. Lawrence schools were weird, though, and the cool kids weren’t all cookie cutter apple pie life kids. Those kids who were kind of weird but still somehow deemed to be “cool” by the social hierarchy ended up being the best people to hang out with.

 In third grade the most popular kids were Jo Harvelle and her crazy cousin Ash. Jo was the prettiest girl in the school and Ash was just too awesome for anyone to not like him. We became friends pretty damn fast. I would have been worried they wouldn’t like Cas the first day I sat with them at lunch, but it turned out that Cas and Ash had the same favorite comic book- they geeked out together and became friends pretty damn fast too.

By the time I started wrestling in sixth grade, on scholarship from the school because no way in hell was I gonna be able to scrape up all that money myself, I was one of the most popular kids of the grade- along with Cas, Jo, and Ash. Sixth grade had brought middle school and Charlie Bradbury, still the coolest girl I have ever met. She hacked my computer during typing skills one day to say hi, and we’ve been friends ever since.

When Sam started school he made his own friends. He wasn’t cute enough anymore for Anna to play with him after school, but he still came to be with me and Cas pretty often. Some days it felt like Sam and Cas wanted to be with each other, reading books and stuff, than be with me. In eighth grade Cas and I got into a fight because he would have chosen to work on Sam’s book report- that wasn’t even due for another week- instead of building a treehouse with me. We didn’t talk for three days. Sam was the one who knocked some sense into me, saying that even though sometimes it felt like he and Cas had more in common my friendship with Cas was special. It was kind of bullshit, coming from a ten-year-old, but Cas and I were fine again after that.

All through middle school and the first half of high school nothing much changed- most things were good- except for Dad’s unexpected visits, and we rotated between hanging out at Charlie’s, Jo’s, and Cas’s houses most days. In high school we weren’t the partiers or the football players, although Jo was a cheerleader and we did go to some parties. We talked, watched movies, played tons of monopoly, did the normal kid things. Near the beginning of junior year, though, things changed in a huge way.


	3. Some Evil Disney Bitch

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Can makes a friend, Dean isn't thrilled

High school wrestling was a bitch. Morning practices an hour before school started, weigh-ins, meets. I got pretty damn good at it, though, and I liked the guys from the team. The best thing about it was probably how good of shape it got me into, which made all the ladies go crazy over me. I dated around some, slept around too. I stayed detached mostly, high school girls are mostly drama queens with nothing in their heads- the hot ones are, anyway. Sometimes, dick that I was, I lead girls on for a little while. Sometimes I got some actual feelings though, sometimes I dated a chick for a month or even two or three. My longest relationship was with this girl, Lisa.

That was probably when some of the first problems started. It wasn’t on purpose, but Lisa might’ve been a little bit like Cas. I didn’t even notice until Jo pointed it out to me, but I guess she kind of was- crazy dark hair, bright eyes, pretty badass, and never putting up with my bullshit. She was kind of a girl version of Cas. I just kinda ignored the fact I was dating a girl version of my best friend and what that might mean about me. After a while, though, ignoring it stopped working and I accidentally called her Castiel a few times. Which led to more than a few fights. And our eventual break up. After that I mostly just flirted and slept around- anyone with nice boobs and soft hair was pretty much welcome in my bed.

This, of course, worried my friends. They didn’t care that much about STDs or getting some random chick pregnant, but they did want to talk about “feelings.” I avoided this pretty successfully for several months until Charlie cornered me one day after English and threatened to never play video games with me again unless I told her what was up. I didn’t say much, but from what I did say, she figured it out. I maybe kinda sorta liked guys sometimes but not usually and I would have to punch her if she told a soul. Charlie had come out as a lesbian in eighth grade, so I had no worries about her judging me there, but I was worried about her letting it slip. Thankfully, she never did. Our friendship didn’t change, although sometimes when a

particularly hot guy who was my type walked by she would have wiggle her eyebrows at me like a crazy person.

So, while I was getting all the ladies, Cas just really... wasn’t. I didn’t know why at the time and whenever I tried to bring it up he just brushed it off and said he had too much homework for relationships. I knew that was crap because he almost always finished his homework at school and only ever hung out with me, Sam, Jo, Ash, and Charlie. But I let it slide because the topic seemed to make the guy uncomfortable.

Junior year started the same as every other year- with pencils, books, hastily done summer assignments, bonfires, and cooler weather. Then Cas had to start studying for the SAT. You’ve pretty much gotta take the SAT or the ACT if you want to go to college in America, and there was no way in hell that Cas, one of the smartest kids I knew, wasn’t going to college. Anyway, for him, getting the highest score he possibly could first try was a huge deal. So he studied. He stopped watching Doctor Who with Sam and going to movies with the rest of us for three whole weeks. He would hardly talk about anything but Latin roots.

Then came Eve. Eve was this new chick at our school; she came at the beginning of the year. She was hot and quickly got a reputation of being kind of... tricky, but after a few days she was old news. In October, just one week before Cas was taking the SAT, she started hanging around us. Specifically, Cas. Cas who’s never had a girlfriend in his life, never even expressed interest in girls or guys romantically or sexually. Not even as a ten-year-old at a sleepover. And Cas let her hang around him when he had hardly put up with his best friends since forever even being near him. He said his conversations with her were “intellectually stimulating,” but I didn’t trust this chick farther than I could throw her.

So after school, the day before Cas’s big test I was studying U.S. History while Cas studied for his SATs. And Eve sat next to her ridiculously tiny purse on the kitchen counter, swinging her legs and doing god knows what. Normally Cas never let more than one person be in the room with him at a time when he was studying, especially not someone trying to talk to him like she was- which made things kind of weird. The fact that she was even allowed to sit on the counter in the first place was probably way weirder though. Gabe had taught me how to cook in that kitchen and I knew he hated it whenever people sat anywhere but the chairs at the table. But Gabe himself had walked through the kitchen on his way out to karate and not said a word to her- making things even weirder.

This is the important part, the part that’s really weird. Cas had gotten up, I would’ve assumed to piss or something, and Eve came and sat next to me. She started spouting some shit about some date she had with Cas, and how I had to leave.

My response was, “Hell no.”

“Castiel has gone to get ready for our date, you must go home. He didn’t want to be rude by asking you to leave, so he asked me to ask you. So, leave. Now.”

At this point I was getting pretty damn angry, who the hell did this girl think she was? So I said so.

“Who the hell do you think you are? Cas does not have a date with you. He would’ve told me. Especially not with his big test tomorrow. He’s been studying for weeks! It wouldn’t make sense for him to stop now!”

She suddenly got up and went over to the counter again, right as Cas was walking back in.

Cas gave me a frown as he walked in because apparently as I would have gotten mad my face had gotten red.

“Dean, are you okay? You look like you might be getting sick. Perhaps you should head home.”

Eve flashed me a gross, too-sweet smile. “That is what I was just saying, Castiel! I thought Dean might want an apple, after all, you know what they say about apples and doctors.”

As she said this, Eve took the brightest, reddest, shiniest apple I would have ever seen before or since out of her tiny purse- I still do not know how she fit the apple in there, and I’ve always wondered if it had been in there all day because even though she would have had that purse with her for at least four hours the apple was still in perfect condition. And even if I hadn’t been against all fruits that weren’t being eaten in a pie, I still wouldn’t have taken that apple from her. As it was, I got even more mad.

“What the hell?! You just went nuts telling me to leave and now you’re going to trying to give me an apple? What’s your problem?”

Cas, at this point, had had enough.

“Dean calm down, I am sure Eve didn’t mean to be rude. Did you Eve?”

Eve smiled her wicked smile, her eyes seemed to change so they were almost snakelike.

“Of course not, I just offered him an apple,” she said sweetly, but in a way that was so fake I still don’t know how Cas didn’t see through her.

“Dean does not like apples. Or fruit at all, unless it’s in pie.” Cas frowned a little bit, he was too concerned about my eating habits to notice the psycho bitch that was trying to get with him.

“He didn’t have to be so rude about it.” She pouted, still mega-fake. This was something I would have fallen for, a pretty girl using all the cards to get her way, but this time I saw through it and

Cas didn’t, which was really weird. Normally he didn’t care about a girl fluttering her eyelashes at him, which is why Eve probably freaked me out so much to begin with.

Cas gave a long-suffering sigh. “Dean, will you at least just take the apple to try it, please?”

Stubborn ass that I am, I said no.

Which is when things got really, really, REALLY weird.

Eve’s eyes flashed yellow and when she spoke her tongue was pointed and her voice wasn’t even human.

“The apple wasn’t even meant for you, foolish boy, it was part of Castiel’s destiny.”

When I say that her voice wasn’t human, I mean it was pretty much an all-out hiss. Which made it pretty friggin hard to understand.

Cas must’ve been under a trance or something from this girl, this thing because when she got all snakey he didn’t even act as if she saw a single thing. And he was super mad at me.

“Dean, just eat the apple!”

I was too shocked to do much of anything between Eve and my best friend not even realizing that she had to be some sort of sick joke or maybe even a monster or something and that now wasn’t really the time to be worried about weird gifts of fruit.

Cas was yelling at this point, “Why won’t you eat the apple, Dean?”

His voice got really low. I mean, the guy already had a low voice, but how low his voice got then was just... not natural.

“If you won’t eat the apple, Dean,” Cas said in his too low not-Cas voice, ”I will.”

At this point I was finally able to snap out of it because if there was one thing I knew for sure in this weird-ass situation it was that the apple was bad news. It was given by a freaky almost snake lady who’d kind of Jedi mind tricked Cas and had gotten the apple out of nowhere because no way in hell did it fit into her teeny tiny purse. Not to mention the fact that the apple was frigging bright red and looked for all the world like something some evil Disney bitch would give to the stupid girl to try and kill her. So no way was I down with Cas eating that apple.

“Cas no!” I yelled, jumping into action to try to get that fruit from him before he would have eaten it.

I was too late though, and Cas had already swallowed his first bite.

He collapsed to the floor. Normally I brag when I’m right and hold it over Cas’ head. But this time I wasn’t even happy that I was right.

Eve had returned into a non-snakey normal human being sometime during this.

“Dean Winchester, never try to mess with fate. Never forget that you cannot change the fate of yourself or of those around you. But you can use that fate and the power within yourself to change your destiny.”

And then she was gone. And by gone I do not just mean she walked out the door or anything. No, she friggin vanished. One second there was some freaky ass lady giving me cryptic advice and then there was no one. No one except for Cas. Who was still lying on the floor. Shit.

When I shook him, he didn’t wake up. So I called the police. I just told them that my friend had passed out and when they asked what happened I just said I didn’t know. No way in hell could I say that a snake monster lady had put him in a trance or something and made him eat what had to have been a poison apple and then had given cryptic advice and no instructions on how to deal with Snow White or Sleeping Beauty or whichever princess Cas was now.

An hour later the doctors had Cas all checked out and ready to go home. He would have woken up right as the ambulance arrived, but they still took him to the hospital to get check him out. It turned out that he had a mild concussion, but everything else was just fine. I didn’t tell the doctors about the apple because I didn’t want them to think I was bat-shit crazy, but I still thought the whole creepy incident probably had done something to Cas that the doctors couldn’t see.

It turned out that I was right. Cas changed after that day. He stayed the same mostly, but some things were just different after that. He understood things that shouldn’t make sense, things people aren’t supposed to understand. He somehow understood the infinity that the universe apparently is, but when he tried to explain it to me I just could never get it. He understood everything that was too big for humans to get, and everything that was too small. He understood these crazy paradoxes that would make my head hurt if he talked about them for more than 30 seconds. He still sometimes forgot how to conjugate French verbs and he never understood pop culture references, it wasn’t that he had suddenly learned everything, but more that he could understand things that only God or whoever is out there is supposed to understand. At first I thought that maybe Cas had just had random facts and scientific theories and crap knocked into him when he passed out, but I figured out that there was way more to it pretty damn fast. He started spouting off things about atoms that made tons of sense, but that none of the science teachers had heard of one day in chemistry. Mr. Shurley had to excuse himself to go get a drink of whiskey after Cas tried to explain whatever it was. I looked up what he had said online after school that day, but I came up with bubkis.

“Hey Cas?”

“Yes, Dean?”

“You know the stuff you were saying to Mr. Shurley in chemistry today?”

“What ‘stuff’ Dean? You’ll have to be more specific.”

“About atoms and crap.”

“Are you referencing the the forces between subatomic particles that are necessary in order to prevent the destruction and collapse of our universe?”

“Yeah, the universe collapsing stuff.”

“What about it, Dean?”

“Where did you learn about it?”

“I didn’t exactly learn about it. It’s more of an understanding, I suppose. I think I began comprehending the universe after,” Cas paused to consider the exact time, “after I passed out and went to the hospital.”

Of course, I knew what this meant right away. Cas didn’t see it though.

“The apple!”

“Dean, I eat lots of fruit. I am unsure of which apple you are speaking.”

“Do not you remember when that Eve bitch-“

“Please refrain from calling women bitches, Dean. It is extremely degrading.”

“Sorry. Do not you remember Eve going all psycho and having you eat that weirdly perfect apple?”

“Are you implying that Eve’s apple provided me with my understanding of the universe and all of its parts?” Cas wasn’t really buying it, he almost was looking at me like I was crazy.

“Well if the shoe fits!” It made sense now. “Her name was Eve, like the first girl on earth, and she hasn’t been at school all week, and she made you eat that apple. What if it was from the Garden of Eden?”

“Dean, you aren’t even religious. And perhaps she was simply sick this week.” Cas argued, totally ignoring the fact that he was religious, so if I believed this crap he definitely should too.

“It makes sense! Didn’t the apple in the Garden of Eden make Adam and Eve understand things they weren’t supposed to understand either? It’s the same thing!”

“That is illogical, Dean. Why would she wish for me to understand-?”

“I don’t know, Cas! You’re supposed to be the smart one here!”

“You are perfectly smart, as well Dean!” Cas was way too worked up about my comment and I knew the conversation was switching to me so he could avoid his own problem. But I took the bait anyway, I always did.

“You’re the one going to college! Taking your SAT and your fancy scholarships and leaving me here! I might not even graduate high school!”

“Why wouldn’t you graduate high school, Dean? You have as good of a shot at getting a scholarship and getting into college as I do! You’re just too stubborn to ask for help with classes you struggle with!”

“That’s because I am not worth it! Dammit, Cas, everyone is trying to get their own grades up and they have their own shit to do and I can’t even ask them to help me because what if I fail? What if I just fuck it up and waste all their time? It always happens. I break everything I touch, Cas, everything!”

By this point I was shouting. I could tell before his mouth even opened that Cas would just yell back even louder.

“What about Sam? What about me, Dean? We are both sitting there at the table when you do your homework but you are just too much of an assbutt to ever just ask for our help! We both would do anything for you and all we want for you is for you to get to do whatever in your life that you wish to do. You just have to ask for our help, Dean! There’s no shame in asking! And we would, we’d help you if you’d ever simply let us! You do not have to become a mechanic just because you think you’re supposed to or that there is nothing else that you are qualified to do. You can graduate, go to college, get a degree in anything you want to!”

“Well what am I supposed to do then? I don’t even know what field to go into! Fixing cars is the only thing I can do! It’s the only thing I know how to do and I’m not so great at learning new things! I can only deal with people for so long and I’m no good at English or history! Where the hell would I even go for school?”

Cas didn’t say anything for a minute or two. When he finally talked again he was way more calm- he always had that amazing way of just cooling off at will after being super pissed, “Well, where do you want to go?”

I hadn’t even considered going to college, so I had no idea. The only thing I knew was that between the time my mom died and the time I met Cas the only thing I would have ever hoped to do was leave Lawrence, Kansas. That town had hurt me enough, so all I really wanted to was to go away. I would have never really told anyone that, aside from Cas. And after Cas came and my dad mostly left, it got a little better. I had a friend and no more bruises, and I accepted the fact that there wasn’t anything more outside of Lawrence than there was for me inside. Besides, I could never leave Sammy. But if Cas was leaving and he was offering me a way out myself, my only real choice was to go with him. Sam already wanted to go to Stanford, so in a few short years I knew he would almost certainly be out of Kansas, too. Then there’d be nothing left there for me. I guess that was when I really started to wish I could just run and avoid all of my responsibilities.

I still hadn’t answered Cas, so I just spouted off the only thing I could think of.

“Far away?”

“How far?”

“Far.” This conversation was beginning to feel familiar.

“To the moon?” Cas was always a sap for crap like that, and it was kind of dumb but it made me feel a lot better.

“I don’t know how to get to the moon, Cas.”

“We can figure it out together.”

After that, it was pretty much settled with no more talking. Eve never showed up to school again and Cas kept on pointing out stuff about how the universe was always growing and changing but also “infinite and all-encompassing” and how there were still somehow unlimited other universes, so we both figured Eve had been something weird and not human and she had done something with the apple that she had given to Cas for some unknown reason and it was best if we never talked about it to anyone in order to avoid the loony bin. And I started asking Cas for help with analyzing poems and memorizing facts about ancient cultures so that I could graduate and go to college somewhere.


	4. Everybody Loves College

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean and Cas take on college

Cas’ “understanding” wasn’t normally a big deal, especially by the time we got to college. We had figured it out, mostly, before high school ended. I had applied to University of Kansas and I was hoping to go there for my undergrad to stay close to Sam, but Sam encouraged me to go to whatever college I wanted to, and with Gabe’s weirdly endless resources Sam was able to stay

with him and Cas and I headed out to University of California- Berkley the fall after senior year. Cas was nuts about people and “cultures” before the Apple, and he was even more fascinated now, and UC Berkley had a top ranked anthropology program. I took going to the moon a little more literally, going into astronomy and astrophysics, also top ranked at UC Berkley. Sam, Anna, and Gabe all rode in Gabe’s cherry red Mustang to California behind me and Cas in Baby. After they’d helped us both unpack and said goodbye, I decided it was time for Cas to have some fun, California style. I don’t know why I thought my idea had to do with California or why I thought Cas would like it, but I still had a hell of a time.

“Cas, get in the car.”

“Dean, we have driven half way across the country, I hardly think it’s necessary to drive any further so quickly.”

“Yes it is.” I replied, hoping he would take the bait so I could explain my plan.

“What could possibly be of so much importance, Dean?”

I knew that Cas was tired, but I’d done almost all the driving- I’d let him drive the Impala for a bit on the back roads while avoiding road construction, but he wasn’t allowed to drive Baby on big roads. Besides, it was important.

“Your virginity.” I am pretty sure my smile was as wide as California is tall.

“What?”

“You are a virgin, Cas, right?”

“Last I was aware. What does this have to do with anything?”

I just handed him his trench coat, even though California in August was way too hot for even a light jacket let alone a trench coat, and I ushered him out the door.

By the time we got to the “brothel” as Cas called it, I was excited to try something new, and hopefully not get herpes. I was nervous that Cas would be too scared to do anything, but I was only half way to sealing the deal with a beautiful chick when Cas was escorted away by his own lady.

I was about to head to the back myself with my own partner in crime- so to speak, when I heard screams coming from the back of the building. The chick Cas had left with came running out the brothel doors not a minute later. When I found him he looked pretty ruffled and his tie was backwards, but his coat was still on and he was otherwise dressed. He explained to me that he had met “a very lovely young woman in a tough situation”. Apparently he’d looked a hooker in

the eye and tried to comfort her by telling her that it wasn’t her fault her father, Gene, ran off - "it was because he hated his job at the post office". This was great because

a) The prostitution industry is practically run on absent fathers.

b) Cas was totally clueless about what he would have done

and

c) I got Charlie to hack into the tapes later- I still don’t know why a brothel needed security tapes unless they wanted to film some x-rated action, and she got the whole incident on a DVD for me, right down to when I grabbed Cas and we ran ran out of the whorehouse even though I could hardly stand because I was laughing so hard.

So sometimes this “understanding” that Cas had was great, even though he wasn’t able to use it to get me history test answers.

My other favorite was when we visited the San Diego over Thanksgiving break and Cas went to the zoo for the first time since the Apple. He crouched down like the gorillas in the exhibit and apparently “talked” to a young one having a tantrum of sorts and got it to calm down like it was a snake and he was Harry Potter or something. Apparently he was mostly just using body language and taking in instincts that were extremely similar to our own to communicate, but everyone at the zoo thought he was crazy.

Other than that, though, the understanding didn’t cause many problems at all. Until one day, it did. That’ll come in a little bit. Be patient, we’ll get there.

Cas announced shortly after the brothel incident that he was pansexual. I had no idea what that meant, like with most of the things Cas tried to explain to me. Apparently it meant that gender didn’t matter to him, he wanted to love and screw people based on their brains. This is more important when you’re actually getting romantic or sexual offers, which he wasn’t at the time. But pretty soon girls and guys flocked to him the way preteen girls do when a guy suddenly goes through puberty, like he was some sort of maverick. Once Cas discovered sex he couldn’t seem to get enough. There were all sorts of people in and out of our room, and for once that wasn’t my fault. He stuck to a pretty regular schedule, and by December I knew when it was safe to come home. But one night in early December I walked in the room at midnight and found Cas, almost entirely drunk and being sucked all over by a girl named April like he was a giant lollipop. I knew April was awful, she treated everyone like shit and she wasn’t even smart, so I was sick of the whole being attracted to people’s brains thing. I’d gotten around for a while back in high school and a little in college, but he was way worse. And I’d only bagged two girls since I’d this chick named Cassie back in October. And he was drunk off his ass. I’d been drunk plenty before, but Cas never drank.

Two days later I came home at lunch time only to find my best friend with his dick up Fergus Crowley’s ass. Crowley had bullied, or tried to but failed because Cas had secret martial arts skills, Cas back in middle school. He moved away Freshman year and I was not at all happy to see him around campus. Cas was now sleeping with bullies, which was just rich. Besides that, there were empty tabs of acid on the floor between the two beds. Drinking was one thing, but acid?!? Crowley and Cas were so wrapped up in each other they hadn’t even noticed me come in.

The next day I came home and Cas was gone. No note or anything. I tried to call him, but his phone just went to voicemail. I tried again.

“Helllllllo, Deaaaan?” he slurred out, obviously drunk. Cas never used to drink, not until about a month before I found him with Crowley.

“Cas, are you drunk?”

“Deeeeeaaaaaan.”

“Cas, get someone sober to drive you home, now.”

I heard a click as Cas hung up on me. I tried calling two more times, but he’d turned his phone off. Someone a few doors down had Crowley’s phone number, so I called him, too, but he didn’t pick up. I had no clue where Cas was, and all I could do was wait.

At 2:00 AM a scratching outside the door marked Cas coming home and trying to get his key to fit into the lock. I waited a minute for him to get in, and when he couldn’t focus enough to get the door unlocked I just unlocked and open it for him. Cas stumbled forward in shock, barely catching himself before falling face first onto the floor.

“Who drove you home, Cas?”

“Me.”

“You? Do you know how drunk you are?! You could’ve hurt someone!”

“I di’n’t though. I just hurted the caaaaaaaaar.” Cas found himself so funny he collapsed laughing onto the floor. I left him there to go find his car. Sure enough, it was in his usual parking spot with one headlight completely smashed and the passenger side part of the bumper hanging off.

I went up to the room again to pack up a few things. I was so pissed at how Cas’d changed so much in just a few months that I left him note that he could read when he was sober, packed my things, and left.

I went to see Jo. She was the closest person I could think of, only about an hour away studying nursing at University of San Francisco. Freshmen were required to live on campus, so I had to stay in her dorm, but her roommate had been living in some boy’s dorm most of the semester even though she still paid for the room with Jo. She also had an ensuite bathroom. All of which meant that Jo had an extra bed I could crash on with no extra cost to either of us. Which made her the most ideal stop.

I was way been too angry to even consider the fact that I should call her when I was driving to warn her that I was on my way, so she was pretty damn concerned when I showed up in her dorm unannounced.

“Dean.”

Nothing.

“What are you doing here?”

Still nothing.

“Where’s Cas.”

Not even a question, a demand.

I walked past her without looking her way and shouldered past her into her room. I went straight to the empty bed, still made up from when Cas and I had visited a month earlier. It smelled like him because I had lost rock, paper, scissors and he’d won the bed and I had been banished to a bean bag chair. I got off the bed and sat on the chair, it didn’t remind me of Cas, at least.

Jo, being one of my best friends since elementary school, picked up on what was wrong pretty quick.

She got me a cup of coffee, decaf since it was already afternoon.

“So, what did you do this time?”

“I didn’t do anything, Jo.” I was calmer now, more tired than anything else.

“Yes you did. You probably just don’t know it, yet.”

“What the hell did I do then, Jo? What did I say that made him starting fucking assholes? How is it my fault that he’s dropping acid? That he fucking drove drunk?”

Jo went quiet. “I think he’s been fucking assholes for a while now, Dean.”

“No Jo. I mean jerks, isn’t he supposed to be attracted to personalities or intelligence or something? These people are just pretty faces, stupid dicks!”

Jo let out a breath. “But seriously, jokes aside. Acid?”

I nodded.

“You are talking about Castiel Novak, right? Not some other person?”

“He seems like a different person,” I muttered under my breath.

Jo grabbed my shoulders and tilted my head up to look her in the eye.

“Dean. Cas will be fine. And so will you. It’s Friday and you have no weekend classes, you can just crash here for a few days.”

Jo offered up her own bed, and I accepted, because at least it didn’t smell like Cas. And then I went to bed even though it was only 2:00 PM.

I did that thing where you only half wake up and can only figure out some things around you and you could wake up but you know you’ll have actual problems to face if you do so you choose not to for several hours before actually falling into a deep sleep. The first few times I partially woke up Jo was on her laptop or reading or gone. But once she was on the phone with somebody. She was talking about Cas, saying that I was a mess and asking if whoever was on the other end to talk to Cas and threaten to send Gabe out to get his ass in gear. I didn’t want to hear it so I just let myself fall back to sleep.

For a day and a half I hardly did anything but sleep. Whenever I woke up Jo would try to get me to talk to her. Sometimes I did, and if I cried a little she never told anyone. Sunday morning Jo poked me awake and said that I smelled bad enough that if I didn’t take a shower she would have to kick me out. I grumbled a little, but I showered.

As I was drying off I heard Jo talking to someone. I heard her higher voice and a low voice, which I was pretty sure belonged to a guy. I only caught a few words, but I know they said something about the moon and the stars and I could’ve sworn whoever it was said something about being together. Jo just told the other person they were an idiot.

I walked out into the main room only to see that the person who Jo was talking with was Cas. Crap. He was just sitting on the bean bag chair with a mug, probably of that weird green tea crap he had always liked. Just sitting, talking to Jo, as if he wasn’t on a bender.

“Hello, Dean.” He tried but I didn’t want to hear a word he said. His excuses meant nothing to me, so I just started to walk towards the door. Then Cas was right in front of me, blocking me

from going anywhere, especially the door. I tried to push past him, but I would have lost a ton of muscle since wrestling had ended in the spring and Cas had started working out, making him stronger than me with no contest.

“I am sorry, Dean. My actions were selfish and childish, and I truly regret them. With some help my actions have now been remedied and I will never do anything of the sort again. I hope you can forgive me for what I have done.”

He was acting like he would have done something small, like changing the radio station, but this was huge, like stealing the Impala and driving away in it.

“You’re sorry? You’re to SORRY?!?! Is that all you have to say? You drove while you were drunk! I do not even do that, that is just plain stupid! You could’ve hurt someone, you could’ve killed someone! And all the sex? Cas, you could’ve gotten a disease! You could’ve given someone else a disease! You could’ve gotten a girl pregnant. And it was nasty to walk in on that so often! I mean I like sex, but that’s all you do anymore. Besides apparently taking illegal drugs. Which, really? You hate drugs and you’re on my ass when I just have a few beers. How can you try to say that things can go back to normal after that, that takes months of recovery for most people, even after just taking it a few times! And it’s dangerous as hell! You know the stories as well as I do- kid gets high and jumps off a building or whatever. Then what? What about me? I can’t even go through college without you! I need you Cas! The world is an awfully hard place to not have a best friend. And I haven’t had one of those in almost a month. I trusted you! I always have! Now what am I supposed to do? I thought we were going to be in this together, Cas! ‘We’ll figure it out together’ and all that?”

I was so angry that I just started hitting him. He didn’t try to stop me, he just stood there and took it. He knew that drugs and too much drinking could ruin him. He knew that it could hurt others. And I was so mad because he would have done it anyway. So I punched him until my hands hurt and there was nothing left in me.

“I think it’s time to go home, Dean. Are you ready?”

I just nodded. Jo had repacked my bag of the few things I had brought.

Jo caught my eyes as we headed out the door, “Call me if you need anything, okay Dean?”

I nodded more. It seemed like that was all I would have done for two days besides sleep and cry.

“How did you get here, Cas?”

“I took the bus.”

I nodded again.

I put my bag in the Impala’s trunk, turned up AC/DC and didn’t even look at Cas the entire way home.

Apparently Jo had gotten Ash and Charlie to come and help Cas sober up while I was with her. He was clean and all of his drugs were flushed. Apparently Charlie had threatened something awful if he even thought about contacting Crowley again. Recovery wasn’t a huge worry because apparently he’d only done acid once, although he had been doing the softer stuff for a few weeks. We talked it out, and Cas promised to get better. And he did. For the next few weeks he studied hard to ace all of his finals. It was hard to act like things were normal, it was hard to learn to trust him again, but we were getting there.

The night before we were scheduled to drive back to Lawrence for Christmas break, it snowed. Back in Kansas that was no big deal, but in California it was huge. First there was rain, which turned to sleet, then to snow. The snow was nice, until it turned to hail twenty minutes later. All of the students who had been out enjoying the new weather had to run back in for cover. By the time we went to sleep that night, it was still hailing.

Around 5:00 AM I heard a scream, the loudest and most awful thing ever. I sat straight upright, only to see that Cas was the one making the noise. He was sitting straight up with his eyes bigger than ever and screaming like his life depended on it. A few seconds later his eyes and mouth slammed shut and he collapsed back down as he stopped screaming.

Cas slowly sat up again and looked at me, and I swear he looked so small and scared.

“Dean. It’s broken.”


	5. Guardian

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A supernatural friend, Christmas, and more

“What do you mean ‘it’s broken’? What the hell is wrong with you, Cas?” 

I stood up and went to flip the lights on. No dice. “Are you talking about the power? You better not have screamed ‘cause of that. It’ll be back on in a few minutes.” 

Cas shook his head. “No Dean, the fabric of reality. It’s broken.” 

“What the hell does that even mean Cas? How do you know?” 

Cas was quiet, “Something changed, something in Heaven.” 

“Heaven?” I was not having his crap. Especially not at 5:00 AM. 

“Yes, Dean, Heaven. Something changed in Heaven. Something I cannot even understand. All I know is that it’s bad. It’s breaking the fabric of reality, slowly cutting tiny holes in it and break specific threads so that unchecked it will collapse into a pile of nothingness.” 

“Which means?” 

“That people will start disappearing. Events will have never happened. It seems like someone or something is taking specific instances and changing them ever so slightly. We live in a world of cause and effect, Dean. If a girl decides not to wear a specific shirt one day because someone went through history and changed her mind a certain boy might not decide to compliment her on it. Then they might not start dating and eventually might not get married and their children and grandchildren might no longer exist and then her great-grandson who was supposed to invent the cell phone might not exist to create it and human kind could be stuck without that technology and so someone might not be able to call 911 while being followed by a murderer and people end up dead. This is that same idea, only with tiny scientific aspects that will affect other things so that eventually the universe and all of time and space will likely collapse.” 

It was 5:00 AM and this was a lot for my brain to process so I just said, “Oh.” 

At that point there was really nothing either of us could do. So we just started getting ready to head home for a few weeks. Cas slept for most of the drive, whatever was happening with the “fabric of reality” was making him really tired. 

Cas and I were so excited to come home. Well, to the Novak’s home technically. Sam had moved into Cas’ room when we had gone to college, so Cas and I were stuck sharing the bed the folded out from the couch. Which wasn’t a big deal. It shouldn’t have been, at least. We had shared a bed together plenty as kids, but this felt a little- or a lot- different. But I totally forgot about sleeping arrangements as soon as I set my stuff down as my enormous kid brother bounded in to greet me. 

“Dean!” The kid had grown a ton in the past few months; he was able to squish me in the biggest hairiest hug ever now. 

“Sammy!” I smiled, but I got tons of Sam hair in my mouth, making me stop smiling. “You need a haircut!” 

He gave me a signature bitchface. 

Anna crossed into the room. “Gabe’s been threatening to put Nair in his shampoo if he doesn’t let me cut it soon.” 

I grabbed Anna and gave her an enormous hug, too. At least I was still bigger than her. 

“How are you, Anna?” 

“I’ve been good. School’s going well. I have got a new internship next semester!” 

“That is great!” 

“Also,” she said, almost shy, which never happened, “I’ve got a new boyfriend.” 

Cas, who had been talking to Sam, came up next to me. “What’s his name?” 

“Adam.” 

“How did you meet?” 

“He was in my stats class and I asked him for help one day and we became friends and then he asked me out.” 

Cas narrowed his eyes. Even though he was younger he was still as protective of Anna as any older brother. 

“How long have you known him?” 

“Adam and I have been friends since school started this year, but we didn’t start dating til October. I do not need you being all over-protective little brother. Go easy on him Cas, please. He’s in the kitchen with Gabe right now, you can talk to him later.” 

Cas nodded in agreement. 

“What about you, Cas? Have you got anyone special yet?” 

Cas had come out to Gabe and Anna and Sam shortly after he would have figured out his sexuality. Apparently they’d all figured it out a long time before that, though. As it was, Cas still looked as awkward as possible, having recently adjusted to the idea that he could like all sorts of people. I could’ve sworn he looked at me before giving his answer. 

“Err, no. No one special.” 

Anna turned to me. “What about you, Dean?” 

I laughed, seeing as for the first time ever Cas had gotten more action than I had that year. 

“Nah, no one for me. I was mostly just hanging with Cas and visiting Jo. And studying. I did make a few friends, though.” 

“What kind of friends?” 

“Well, mostly just one,” I answered. I would have met some people in classes, but those were mostly acquaintances. “Benny LaFitte, real nice guy.” 

Cas scowled when I said Benny’s name. He wasn’t the guy’s biggest fan. Benny had me skip class with him a few times back in September, and Cas still didn’t trust him. After his own little bender Cas had stopped outright hating him and had moved to a mild dislike at least. 

Anna’s face, opposite of Cas, perked up in recognition. “LaFitte? I have heard that name. Do you have any pictures? “ 

I scrolled through my phone until I found a good- sober- picture of Benny. 

“Ohmigod I love Benny!” Anna totally freaked out. Cas looked at me, more confused than he normally was. I just shrugged. 

“He’s friends with Adam,” she explained. “I’ve met him a few times, at parties and stuff. He’s so great!” 

I raised my eyebrows at Cas. “See? If Anna likes him, Benny can’t even be too bad.” 

Cas glared at me. “She met him at _parties and ‘stuff.’_ ” 

I rolled my eyes and changed the subject, not wanting to continue and totally piss him off. 

“Looks like I better meet this Adam guy, any friend of Benny’s is a friend of mine.” 

Adam was nice. Nice enough that Cas and Gabe both approved, which was pretty damn impressive. When I mentioned to him my name he said that Benny had talked about me and I had to cut him off when he started asking me about my adventures with Benny, there were more than a few awesome things we had done together, so that Cas didn’t freak out. Cas, being Cas, noticed my headshake and let out one of his annoyed little huffs. 

“Not of fan of Benny, eh Cas?” Adam asked, the way that he said it somehow helped to diffuse some of the tension. 

“I fear,” Cas began, “that he will somehow get Dean into trouble.” 

“No worries, man, Benny wouldn’t do that. He’s harmless, more a teddy bear than anything else.” 

Adam’s words seemed to make Cas a little more at ease. 

“Besides, he’s totally straight, so no jealousy there.” I was pretty confused by this. Benny was an attractive looking guy. But still, a guy. Clearly nothing would’ve ever happened like that 

between me and Benny. So what if I sometimes looked twice when passing a hot guy or I noticed that some dudes had nice butts, I liked chicks. Liking guys was Cas’s thing, not mine. 

Cas and I looked at each other and then back at Adam. 

“What?” we asked in unison. 

“The two of you, right…?” Noticing our shocked faces he trailed off and then almost immediately backpedaled. Anna looked a little pale. Gabe just laughed. 

“I just thought… Anna said you were pan,” Adam nodded toward Cas, “and the way Benny talked I just assumed… Oh God. I am sorry. I hope I didn’t offend either of you.” 

I was a little weirded out, but not mad or anything. Cas mostly just looked shocked. 

“It’s alright, man. Cas and I are just friends though.” I managed to get out. 

***************

Aside from the first little awkwardness, Christmas break was great. I got to spend time with Sam for a few weeks and I got to chill and play video games with Gabe and Adam while Cas and Sam did whatever nerdy stuff they do, and I got to be part of a family. I never would have said so back then, but Gabe and Anna and Cas and Sam were my family I needed them all there with me because no one else could’ve gotten me through the crap that was my childhood. Besides, if I woke up Christmas morning completely tangled up in Cas, nobody had to know that I didn’t try to shove him away and that I maybe liked it a little. So break was pretty damn great. Until New Year’s Day. 

When I woke up that morning only my feet were overlapping Cas. I would have only been awake for a few seconds before Cas sat upright and said that something was wrong. 

“What sort of wrong, Cas?” 

“It’s bad. With the fabric of reality. People are beginning to lose their free will.” 

“Like, choices?” 

“Yes. People can still have options but a few people are now finding themselves unable to pick anything but a certain one. Their decisions are being predetermined. It began, I believe, as soon as the New Year started.” 

A knock on the door startled us both. No one was up yet but me and Cas, so I got the door. A guy in a red striped uniform with a nametag that said Alfie was standing outside. 

“Dude it’s too early for this. We didn’t order pizza.” Unless Gabe did, I found myself thinking. Order pizza at 7 AM was something he would have probably do. 

“I am not the pizza man. I just need to talk to you and Castiel.” 

“How do you know my name? Do you know Cas? Are you one of Crowley’s friends? I will-” 

At this point Cas walked around the corner, wearing nothing but sweatpants because he didn’t believe in wearing shirts to bed. 

“Samandriel! What are you doing here?” 

I looked between the two of them. It was 7 AM and I was mostly confused. 

“But his nametag says Alfie? Cas, do you know this guy.” 

Cas looked at me like I was an idiot. “Yes Dean, he is from the pizza place on campus, he serves you your food frequently.” 

“Oh. How do you know him?” Why the hell was Cas getting all buddy-buddy was the pizza guy? How had I missed this? 

“You are not the only one who’s been making friends this year, Dean.” 

Before I could say anything else, Samandriel cleared his throat. “As I was saying, I need to talk to you both. Outside.” 

Cas and I stepped out the door and shut it behind us. Samandriel looked around nervously. 

“What I have to say sounds strange, but you need to hear me out. It is terribly important.” 

Cas and I both nodded. 

“I am not a pizza delivery guy. I am an Angel of the Lord.” 

I felt Cas stiffen beside me. I just raised my eyebrows and waited for him to continue. I knew this was gonna be good. 

“I am one of many angels that monitors humans. My job is to help monitor all humans in general, but I cannot help but pick favorites. As soon as Castiel received his ‘understanding’ as you call it, he was on my radar. I could not intervene because it would alter the course of reality, but I was always watching to ensure your well-being.” 

“But you can?” Cas seemed to believe this dude, like it wasn’t totally nuts. 

“I am hoping you can understand, the situation has changed.” 

This guy was really pissing me off. And when I am pissed off at 7:00 AM, I do not have the self-control to keep from saying it. 

“I understand, alright. You’re some sort of crap guardian angel who can’t even do anything and never bothered to come down and explain what the hell even happened to Cas and now the world is screwed over and you’re gonna want our help. That sum it all up?” 

Samandriel looked nervous. “No, not exactly. I also came to inform Castiel that he is right. Some people are being controlled. But angels are also being controlled, which puts far more at risk. I wanted to let you know that I have been watching over you, but that there’s little I can do to help. It’s likely that if Heaven finds out that I sought you out, I will be killed. Otherwise, they may start to control me at any time. I fear it’s possible that angels have been controlled for a while and it’s only now common knowledge among us angels.” 

“What the hell do you mean ‘us angels’?” I shot back at him. 

“Castiel ate an apple from the Tree of Knowledge. It not only gave him understanding on the level of an angel, but replaced his soul with grace.” 

“You fuckers took his soul?!?” 

“No, it was ‘upgraded’ you might say. His soul is still intact; it just has another dimension to it, like angels have. The only things he’s missing to make him an angel are wings and a connection to the Host.” 

I was too shocked to say anything. Samandriel continued on. 

“It seems that God is gone, lost. And without him Heaven is falling apart. We are forming factions and warring amongst ourselves. Without God, some of the stronger angels have allowed corruption and started taking away free will. You both know the importance of free will, at this point. Castiel, at this point, you are the only one able to seek out God for us. You will soon have the capabilities to travel to any destination necessary, and you cannot be controlled or spied on by the Host. I know that I am asking much of you, and know that this process will take much time, but please consider this. It is the only option to save both Heaven and humanity.” 

By the time he was done talking I would have figured out how to use my words again. 

“So you’re saying that the man upstairs has gone on an extended vacation with no warning and you want _Cas_ to find him? That’s nuts! I thought God wasn’t even supposed to have a physical form or whatever? Cas would never-“ 

Cas put his arm on my shoulder, surprising me enough that I shut up again. 

“I will do it.” He spoke solemnly, like some wack job in a pizza delivery suit wasn’t asking him to do the impossible. 

“Your mission will take a long time to unfold. However, once it does, I have faith that you’ll recognize it. The task is daunting, I am sure.” Samandriel was rushing his words out, but still not cutting the flowery crap. He was starting to look nervous. “I wish I had time to explain, but the other angels have discovered I am missing.” 

“Samandriel, please, tell me how I will find God, how will I know where to even start?” Cas was practically begging for this dude’s help in something I was pretty damn sure would never even come to pass. 

Samandriel’s eyes got huge. Bigger than Cas’s even when he was scared. “They’ve found me.” 

“How will I- oh.” Samandriel was gone, faster than he came. Which, I guess is pretty obvious because you do not drive fast cars to deliver pizza. But I mean he disappeared, just like Eve, only a little less creepy.


	6. Dean's Got a Nice Figure

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Taking on adulthood

The rest of college went by pretty uneventfully as far as having visitors that aren’t supposed to exist. Cas still had the understanding, and sometimes he told me about more people or angels being controlled and what all was happening, but at least we were never visited by the devil or anything. Apparently Cas and I had loved being roommates so much in college we decided to do it again in real life as actual adults. Either that or it was cheaper to share the rent on a crappy, over-priced California apartment. Eventually I was able to find good work in Michigan, of all places. I had applied for this company in Shelby, Michigan. I got the position and when I did, it turned out that Ash somehow became the owner of a small aerospace company, Colt Aerospace. We both knew the guy was a genius, but neither of us ever expected him to meet up with Ash through work. Shelby is a pretty small town, right on Lake Michigan. Damn cold in the winter and lacking in terms of cell phone towers, but pretty enough that it’s worth it. Cas found work in Michigan as a professor, so he came along with me. Long story short, we ended up buying a house together. It wasn’t a huge house, but we had enough space, more than in college and at our apartment. It turned out that the house was kind of a fixer-upper. 

I was repainting the walls one morning, a light green that Cas had spent hours picking out- I thought that light green was light green, but apparently each of the two dozen shades he looked at “reflected a different mood.” The repairs and big projects that involved me more than Cas were pretty much finished, so Cas had been having what only he could call fun trying to pick out decorations and figuring out colors for each room. Every time he tried to paint he would have somehow forget painter’s tape or put uneven layers on or forget primer. So it was my job 

to paint, and Cas promised to cook until I was finished. Cas was about as good at cooking as he was at painting, so I may have pulled a few all-nighters to get everything done a little faster. 

“Dean! Lunch is ready!” Cas called from the kitchen. 

I washed my hands in the garage sink- finally, a garage all my own to keep all my tools in for fixing the Impala!- and I sat down and waited to be served. When it came to serving people, Cas was fussier than any old lady I knew, though I guess I never knew that many old ladies. He always made sure that whoever was eating had shoes off- some sort of cultural thing from some country I’ve never gone to- and was sitting, and then he served all of the food like some sort of waiter. Even if it was just the two of us, and even if I was the one who did the actual cooking. I guess you can know a guy your whole life and he might never get any less weird. 

“So, what have you prepared today, Cas?” 

Cas set my plate in front of me before setting down his own across from me. 

“Brown rice with vegetables and a side of peaches dipped in peanut butter. And milk.” 

As he pulled out his chair and sat down, it hit me: Cas was feeding me health crap. 

“What the hell, dude? Why are you feeding me this? Rice that isn’t even fried? Vegetables? You know I do not like peaches unless they’re in pie! What’s going on man?” 

Cas looked down at his plate. “Well, I- Dean, You’re not in wrestling any more. You never exercise. Sam has been warning me about diseases and disorders you could get starting very soon if you do not become more healthy.” 

“What do you mean ‘ _I_ could get’?! What about you? We are the same age! And since when do you talk to Sam?” 

“I realize that we are the same age, Dean. However, I eat healthy foods, and I go on runs.” 

“Bullshit! I saw you eat ice cream last night!” 

“Dean. Everything in moderation. Having a bowl of ice cream isn’t necessarily bad, what’s detrimental is only eating unhealthy foods. Also, it is important to exercise, you could come on runs with me. You’d be amazed at what it does for your figure.” 

“My _figure_? Are you calling me fat, Cas?” 

“No. I am simply warning that you could easily become fat. Or you could develop a number of other health issues.” 

I chose to ignore him in favor of starting on my food. I dipped my fork into my rice, and shoveled a huge amount into my mouth. I figured if my mouth was full enough, he couldn’t get me to talk. My plan was foiled when I had to spit out my food. 

“Oh God, Cas! That is disgusting!” 

He looked offended, even though he could normally admit that he was an awful cook. 

“Surely it’s not that bad! You’re simply unused to eating healthy foods.” 

Cas took a bite, his eyes got comically wide as he chewed- which was probably part of the problem, you shouldn’t have to chew rice- and he politely coughed into his napkin. 

“I stand corrected.” Cas admitted, taking a drink from his milk. 

“That is why I cook, buddy. I just keep you around to clean and to be smart. Health food isn’t gonna work.” 

“ I suppose not,” he sighed, “which means you’ll simply have to come on runs with me. 

Which is how I found myself awake at 6:00 AM the next morning, wearing basketball shorts, a tshirt, and tennis shoes. Cas, on the other hand, was wearing ridiculously tight shorts and no shirt at all. When he bent over to tie his running shoes, pretty much nothing was left to the imagination. And I wondered whether or not I should say something, and why I was paying so much attention to my best friend’s ass in the first place. Of course, the little voice that tells you “hey, that’s probably not a smart thing to say right now” decided to take the morning off and wake up at a reasonable time unlike the rest of my body, so the words slipped out of my mouth before I could even process that I was going to say them in the first place. 

“Cas, why aren’t you wearing any clothes?” 

Cas finished tying his shoes, and looked at me, confused. 

“I am wearing clothes.” He gestured to his shorts and shoes. 

“You’re not wearing a shirt and those shorts hardly count. You’re gonna cause goddamn traffic wrecks.” 

Shit. I could not stop what I was saying. Crap. I would have just have to do some damage control later, blame it on a lack of sleep. And not having had my morning coffee. 

“I do not understand. Traffic wrecks?” 

Hell, dude was clueless. That seemed like as good a time as any to back myself out of that particular corner. 

“Because people will get distracted by your- never mind. Forget it, Cas. Let’s just go.” 

His eyebrows were still knitted together, but Cas opened the door for me to step out. I waited for him to go in front, Cas had a specific route and would be faster so it only made sense. 

We had made it about a quarter mile before Cas started talking. I wasn’t thrilled when he did- partially because I could hardly breathe and run without talking which would make running and breathing and talking without falling over or totally running out of breath pretty damn hard, but also because of the topic. 

“I think I understand what you were saying back at home, Dean. About the traffic accidents.” 

I tried to suppress a groan. 

Luckily, Cas didn’t say anything for another half of a mile. 

“Were you saying that my rear would distract passing drivers with its sexual nature.” 

By this point, not running for about 6 years was catching up to me. 

“I,” huff, “uh,” breathe Dean, “yeah, sure.” 

“My route is entirely country, Dean. There is no one to distract with my assets, even if I wanted to.” 

I was going to respond, but at that second, I tripped. On a rock of all things. 

***************

We walked home, slowly. Cas practically had to carry me. Apparently when I fell I twisted my ankle. Also, Cas said my collapse was probably partially from dehydration and the fact I was so unfit. Thankfully Cas seemed to forget our conversation about butts distracting drivers, so it was never revisited. 

Unfortunately, he didn’t forget about wanting me to be healthy. I always said gyms were for douche bags, and running obviously wasn’t my thing. Cas brainstormed for a few weeks before finally signing me up for an adult softball league, and damn if that didn’t make me feel old. 

I tried and tried not to go to the first practice, like some kid avoiding school the day of the test, but Cas forced me into it. I figured out that softball wasn’t so bad. I was a decent pitcher, and I even got to be a decent runner eventually. I met a lot of cool people there, like the Shelby town Sheriff- Jody Mills, a nice former marine named Rufus, and an accountant named Aaron. There were people on the team anywhere from age 20 to age 70, and we all had a great time. I really 

hit it off with one of the ladies of the team, a single mom named Lisa. After about three weeks of practices and games we finally went on our first date. 

I would have never been much of the dating type, I usually was more of a one and done guy. Naturally, I was nervous and sweaty as as a whore in church. I walked into the living room in jeans and a t-shirt 20 minutes before I had to leave. Cas glanced at me over the top of his newspaper, sighed, and set the paper down. 

“Dean.” 

“Cas.” 

“Is that what You’re wearing on your date?” 

“Yes?” 

Seeing his disapproving look, I tried again. 

“No? I do not know! Hell, I haven’t been on a date since high school! You’re the one that does dates and romance and all that crap! I just pick up chicks from seedy bars! But Lisa’s nice and funny and it’s been too long since anyone’s really wanted to hang out with me and not just use me for my body. Normally it’s okay because I am using them for their body, but it still kind of sucks, man. And not just in the sexy way. So yeah, what the hell am I supposed to be wearing? What kind of movies do people even go to on first dates? Is Italian too cliché? Will she just want to eat a salad?” 

“Dean. Breathe. Calm down, it’s going to be okay. Wear your khakis and your green button down.” 

“Where are my khakis? Cas, have you seen them? Are they dirty?” 

“I washed them yesterday, Dean. They are sitting on the second step of the stairs, seeing as you failed to bring your clean clothes upstairs again.” 

At this point I was kind of running in every direction in search of my clothes. Cas actually had to hand them to me and then turn me and shove me into my room to change. 

At that point I changed at approximately the speed of light. And when I say that, I truly mean it. Faster than you would EVER believe! Wham bam bam and then whiz kazam I was actually, really, truly, done. 

So I went on the date, it went well, I guess, as far as first dates go. Awkward to some extent, but they have to be. You know how it is. We watched a movie, some action flick that still had 

some sort of underlying romance story that Cas had recommended that I take Lisa to go see because apparently chicks like that sort of stuff. By the time we got to dinner it was eight pm but luckily the Italian pizza and pasta place we went to didn’t close for another two hours. We talked; mostly we said things that we had already sort of known about each other, expanded on ideas and stuff like that. I found out that she taught yoga at a local yoga and pilates studio and that she had only taken two years of classes before becoming a teacher five and a half years ago. Of course, since then she’d to go to seminars and get all sorts of fun certifications. She learned I had a little brother named Sam who meant the world to me, the kid bugged me but I swear I would die for him. She also learned that I went to UC- Berkeley and that I’d majored in astrophysics. Finally she learned that I had this best friend named Cas who I’d known since pretty much forever. By the end of the night I was exhausted and she had a kid so, so we went our separate ways and agreed to meet up again soon. So I went home, perfectly normal night. Cas was sitting at the kitchen table, reading. 

“Hey Cas, what are you reading?” I asked. I was too tired to care that much, but it was a kind of weird looking book. 

“Oh, Dean. Hello, how are you? How was your evening? Did you eat well? Did Lisa enjoy the movie? Did you enjoy the movie? Did she eat well? Did Lisa order a salad, as you had initially feared? I certainly hope not. I should hope that Lisa is the type of girl who does not conform to stereotypes in such a way. Oh?” Cas finally stopped, I was amazed that he had not run out of air way before he did. Cas had never ceased to amaze me with talents great and small, ranging anywhere from understanding the entire universe to having been able to talk for a ridiculous amount of time and say a ridiculous amount of things without ever even having the need to take a breath. “Oh. Right. You were asking about my book. Dean, this is a new concept and I would like to ask you to not become angry, but I am researching. I am currently looking up lore that has any sort of connection to my understanding, to where god is, or what he might be doing. I have also requested of Sam that he might do the same. I have found it necessary to begin researching this topic at this juncture because I have this sudden, strange, intense feeling inside of me that says that I need to. Which may sound odd, but when the angel Samandriel came to us both, he did say that it would be abundantly clear to me when I was supposed to do something in relation to finding god, which is the ultimate task he had set before me all those years ago. It was so long, in fact, that I had quite nearly begun to forget about it, and if I am not seriously mistaken I believe that you were doing the same. I feel that that certain time has come. So I have used Bobby as a search engine of sorts, which is actually rather humorous considering the fact that he works on engines for a living. I have also asked Sam to help us embark on this endeavor. I feel that his resources at Stanford will be of use to us at this time and can aid us with this project. I hope that you will understand.” 

“What the hell did you just say. Talk less, and slower. I’m too tired for this, Cas.” 

“I am going to find God, Dean. I am searching for him, right now. Well, I am beginning the process at least at the moment. I am enlisting you, your brother, and your Uncle Bobby who we need to go visit as helpers. Bobby has all sorts of books, books about legends and myths and folktales that might aid in my quest, our quest. So I’ve had him ship me a few that he felt were most pertinent.” 

And so we looked. And we read. And we googled. And we read. And we both worked, and we read. And I went on dates with Lisa, and even then I still managed to find the time to sneak a book into my jacket and read and research lore at the theater instead of watching movies. And then finally Cas got some sort of information in his head about where God was. Which pretty much made all of those weeks and all of that time spent reading as useless. As it turned out, God was in some obscure galaxy that I’d never heard of aside from once in a school textbook written by a crappy professor who just wanted to make money and so he wrote thousands and thousands of words and forced us to read them all. Apparently there were no life forms there, although the specific planet God was on was deemed suitable for living. Apparently, also, Cas had told Ash about our little reading assignment. Apparently, again, Cas had had Ash monitoring all sorts of weird, crazy things. And apparently, Ash was going to be helping us.

***************

Ash had the rocket ship all geared up, fine tuned and ready for Cas and a small crew that Ash had put together to go. They weren’t leaving for two more days, but I was already terrified, and missing my best friend. Cas had recently noticed a sudden influx of people being controlled, which just made it all the more necessary for Cas to go find God. 

Cas and I were on the couch watching Star Trek, which was actually a little bit ironic. Our feet were all tangled up, which seemed to be happening more and more recently. Personal boundaries were being crossed, and I didn’t really know who was starting it. 

“Hey Cas?” 

Cas paused the TV and looked at me expectantly. 

“I- nevermind turn back on the show.” 

He wasn’t buying it. 

“Dean. You can tell me whatever it is that is on your mind.” 

“It’s nothing Cas. Just, space is dangerous, rockets are dangerous. I’ve helped build enough of them that I should know how dangerous they are. One teeny tiny miscalculation and you could 

all blow up. And space is literally infinite, and constantly growing bigger, as you know. I mean, you’re the smart one here, you get all this, right?” 

“But Dean, you made those calculations. You went back and checked everything no less than four times. I trust you, it is now up to you to trust yourself. And seeing as you know how good of a quality your work is and how good you are at your job, I’m sensing an underlying message.” 

“Cas, it’s just. Fuck. I’m gonna miss you, Cas. I’m gonna miss you so goddamn much. And I’m so scared to be without you, because who the hell knows how long it’s gonna take? It could take months, or maybe even years. And what if something happens, not with the ship but with something else. Anything. Just, promise me one thing, okay Cas? Come back. No matter what happens out there, just please promise me you’ll return in one piece. Sam and Gabe and me and Anna, we need you here Cas. We need you. I need you.” 

Cas just nodded his head yes. “Of course, Dean.”


	7. To the Stars

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A final adventure

The next few days went smoothly. Cas and his crew got absolutely everything ready and got on board. They made it out of the atmosphere with no problems, and continued on for a long while. Colt Aerospace was able to track the journey. Life continued on as normal, only without Cas by my side. So I guess just about everything was pretty damn weird. I went to work, went out with Lisa, and talked with Sam. But when I went home at night, there was no one reading at the kitchen table. Nobody made sure I took off my shoes and properly set the table. And that was pretty darn depressing if I do say so myself. 

***************

Two weeks into Cas’s journey there was some sort of meteor shower in the area that they were in. When suddenly we lost all connection to the ship, only one conclusion. 

Gabe, Anna, and Sam all wanted to have a funeral. There was no body or anything, but they thought it might give them closure. I didn’t want closure, though. I wanted Cas back. Alive. Just like he had promised. So I did what any mature, grown man would’ve done. I ran. 

I drove to Lisa’s house with nothing but an overnight bag, not as quickly as I would’ve liked because it was raining, but as quickly as I dared. I was actually kind of glad of the rain as I climbed up Lisa’s front steps. At least then no one could tell that I was crying. 

Lisa opened the door. 

“Dean? What is it? What’s wrong?” 

“He’s gone.” 

“Cas?” 

I nodded 

“Cas has been gone.” 

I shook my head. 

“For real. I think he’s dead.” 

“Dean, come inside.” 

I totally switched off and went to autopilot as she led me inside and to her bedroom, a room I was extremely accustomed to by this point in our relationship. 

***************

I ended up staying at Lisa’s house for almost a year. I was becoming like a dad for Ben, which was scary, but pretty cool. We were going to baseball games as a family, Lisa would find a babysitter and we’d go on a date, I’d just gotten used to my new life when it became weird. First I started getting bills in the mail. Random things for the old house that I hadn’t been in for almost a year. 

When the electrical company assured me there was no mistake I was confused, but I let it go. Same with the telephone company. When the heating company assured me that when they went for a service check two days previously, I decided I had to figure out what was going on. 

I was a little nervous as I turned the key in the door. I stepped inside, only to find myself greeted by insanely messy head of dark hair that I hadn’t seen in nearly a year. 

I cried, then shouted, then cried again. Cas was home and I could hardly believe he was alive. 

He explained that he’d arrived a few months previously and he stopped by Lisa’s. He saw me there with her and Ben, playing catch in the yard. Cas said I looked so happy that he decided to keep me there. Sam and Gabe had known, I was the only one on the outside. 

I went back to Lisa’s that night, and I told her what was going on. I also told her what I had just then realized. We talked it out. I’d had a perfect apple pie life with her, but it just wasn’t my own life. That night I put away my baseball glove and packed up my things. I left Lisa’s house and headed home. 

***************

Cas’s understanding had been quiet since he got home. In the two weeks since I’d moved back into our house I’d realized that. Most things were normal, but some things just weren’t. 

One night at dinner after Cas had served first me and then himself I finally asked about the trip. 

“Hey Cas?” 

“Yes, Dean?” 

“How was your trip? I mean, I know you said that it seems that people weren’t being controlled anymore. But did you find God, what was it like?” 

“No, we didn’t find him Dean. We almost did die, though. When the ship went off the charts, it was because we went into a black hole. We somehow got out, I fear I’ll never know how, before we were destroyed. When that happened I could feel the shift back to freedom for all the angels and people that were being controlled. I couldn’t believe it.” 

I nodded. 

“But Dean? I went to the stars, at last. But it didn’t mean a single thing. Not without you.” 

***************

It wasn’t until a few weeks later that Cas asked why I hadn’t been out with Lisa lately. We were both in the living room. I was reading Sherlock Holmes and Cas was reading the paper. 

“Dean? Why haven’t you been out with Lisa lately?” 

“We- uh, Lisa and I aren’t together anymore, Cas.” 

“Why? She was perfect for you.” 

“Maybe she was, but I don’t think so. And neither did she. We got along fine, didn’t fight too much or anything, but it was never quite right for either of us. She pointed out why when we broke it off. She said that I’d never try to hurt her, but that it wasn’t fair to be in a relationship when my heart was with somebody else, even if I didn’t know it.” 

“Dean, were you…?” 

“No Cas, I wasn’t cheating on her. I never would’ve. We both know that, and she did too. But I finally realized what she meant. All my life I’ve been falling in love, so so slowly that I never noticed, and then it suddenly hit me like a ton of bricks and it was pretty damn hard to handle. Lisa said it was weird for two grown men who were just friends to have a house together from the very first date, but I guess I never really thought about that. Maybe that’s why the dates never really worked out, why I had such a specific type for one night stands. Castiel Novak, I am in love with you.” 

“Oh.” Cas just sat there looking shocked before standing up and walking to my side of the couch, lifting my chin up, and kissing me. It wasn’t a pefect fairytale or Hollywood movie kiss, 

but it was ours. His lips fit against mine like they belonged and I knew we’d both finally something right. We went to the stars, we figured it out together. 

***************

Cas and I only had a few weeks after getting our heads out of our asses and converting my old room to a guest bedroom. After that, he sensed his mojo getting weird. 

Last week Samandriel came, out of the blue. I ‘d thought the guy was dead, Cas had too. All I know is that he said he had to take Cas right then. He just touched Cas’s shoulder and they were gone. I guess that’s the end of it then, that’s why I’m here. 

I need your help. I’m not letting him go this time. I’ve gotta find Cas again. 


End file.
